By Jonathan Woon
Fans of the Twilight series will be furious with “Vampires Suck”, a low budget parody mocking the original series written by Stephanie Meyer.
As the title suggest, vampires do suck in the movie. The movie starts off with a teenage girl, Becca Crane (Jane Proske), moving in to live with her father, Sheriff Frank (Diedrich Bader). Meanwhile, a bizarre murder and accidental fatality occurs and Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian are the top suspects.
Creepy and weird strangers at her new high school quickly befriend Becca. She is intrigued by the mysterious Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter), who soon becomes her boyfriend. Edward is a vampire, he is different from other vampires because of his ability to control his appetite for human blood. The Sullen family is unable to accept Becca, a human, and the couple breaks up. Edward leaves for Brazil only to receive false news of Becca’s death a few days later. He then attempts to kill himself only to be stopped by Becca. The movie ends with Edward turning Becca into a vampire because the Zolturi leader, Daro (Ken Jeong) forced him to do so.
“Vampires Suck” is irritating and irrelevant. Besides the low film quality, the dialogues were barely humorous. Camera tricks used were awful. The cast acted as though it was an impromptu filming and did not show any signs of professionalism. Most supposed-to-be comical moments in the movie ended up as lame and irrelevant scenes. According to a survey made by rottentomatoes.com, the average rating of “Vampires Suck” is a 2.3/10. The movie was a definite let down to most people. “Vampires Suck” did not live up to its expectations as a funny parody.
Jonathan Woon is a freshman majoring in communication. You may e-mail him at email@example.com.