It’s hard to tell someone they smell bad.

There is a point during the semester when proper hygiene is the least of anyone’s troubles. Midterms are here, and students are stressing out about whether they will pass that 8 a.m. lab test or not. Those who are not stressing over tests are writing papers with word counts long enough to stretch into distant galaxies. Seniors are now feeling uncertain about their future after graduation, which is no longer in the distant future, but now in the approaching present. The rest of the student body is counting down the days until Spring Break.

Though busy, there is no reason to smell like someone who has crawled out of the zebra barn at the zoo. Yet, there is an occasional odor left lingering in the halls that could be bottled and used as tear gas. The situation is truly one to cry about, and anyone who has walked through one of the invisible clouds of stink and stench will concur.

If this smelly dilemma continues to toot along, catastrophe is sure to follow. Before long there will be a national holiday to ensure that everyone remembers to deal with their BO. After all, there are national holidays reminding people to remember their dead and to remember to tell others that they love them. There could also be a national “remember to shower day” in the not-so-distant future. Think of the greeting cards that would emerge with this. There is nothing like a piece of paper to tell someone how much you care about them:

“I wanted to buy you a box of soap, but it wouldn’t fit in the envelope.”

“I love everything about you, except for the fact that you smell like feet and cats.”

“Shower. I beg you.”

Maybe greeting cards are the exact solution. They can be distributed anonymously, and given with a dozen Old Spice boxes or a tin of Lever 2000.

Or people could simply shower before class.

Mother is not here to tell anyone when to shower or when to change their clothes. Yet, there are still students who wear the same t-shirt and blue jeans for days, and even weeks on end, in some severe cases. Not even designer perfume and colognes are going to camouflage the rank. The only solution is Mr. Arm and Hammer along with good old-fashioned water.

It’s hard to tell someone they stink, and no one should have to. But, you stink. Avoid leaving trails of ooze. Shower, freshen and shine. If not, greeting cards will be on their way.

“Happy Body Odor Day!”