How can you be happy with someone else if you’re not happy with yourself, or by yourself?
Everyone have different views on dating these days, and to be quite honest I don’t even know if we call relationships dating anymore, or relationships for that matter. Maybe you’re talking to somebody, seeing somebody, or fooling around with somebody. The times have changed and the old ways of dating just aren’t what they used to be.
I remember the movies I used to watch when I was little. The girl found the perfect guy, he asked her out on a date, he was a gentleman and she was a lady, and together they just seemed to be perfect. Then they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. We are in college, and we’ve all hopefully put the thoughts of a perfect “fairytale” behind us. I know I am not waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet.
Some relationships seem like they are just so easy, everything seems to be perfect, and I envy those people who make it seem that way, so simple. Things might seem perfect on the outside, but it isn’t always like that once you get to the inside. No matter how much you care for someone, or love someone, there is always going to be some bumps in the road, which doesn’t mean it is a bad relationship, it is just the way life is.
Finding the right person seems so hard. Once you think you find someone you can trust and also have a good time with, and just feel comfortable around, they show that one side of themselves you just wish you would never have seen. I am not talking about little annoying things. I am talking about lying and cheating, two things that seem to be more accepted in college societies these days, and among young people. I mean, everyone makes mistakes, and there is a difference between small lies and big lies, but lying is lying. So is the person getting hurt really supposed to sit back and accept those things? Some people do, because it is easier that way, it is easier to be with someone even though they’ve hurt you, than to just be by yourself.
It is like we just lost the meaning of the word “relationship”. In a relationship even with friends honesty and trust are the two most important things, and how can you even rely on someone who can’t seem to be faithful or trustworthy? I am not the greatest person in the world, and I’ve done my share of dumb things, I’ve lied, everyone does, but it doesn’t make it okay. I’ve realized that it is important for me to treat other people the way I want to be treated, even though it is really hard sometimes.
It is about mutual respect. How can you expect being respected if you don’t respect yourself or other people? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is and understands.
A relationship to some might be a receive relationship, where one part has to work so the other part is happy, but for a relationship to have a chance of working it is important to give and receive as time passes. Communication is important, tell the other part what’s going on. No one likes whining, but communicating so that both parts of the relationship feels understood is important.
Some think that being in a relationship means that there is only time for that one special person. They tend to drop their friends and put the girlfriend or boyfriend first, instead of finding a balance between the two. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to have a drastic life change, it doesn’t mean you have to spend every second with the other half of the relationship. I know I always have excuses for why not to get into a relationship with people. I say I either don’t have time, or my friends come first, or I need to focus on myself, which I always think have been legitimate excuses. I know other people have excuses too, and to them they’ve become more of a way to keep one from taking a risk, to take distance from opening up, from letting someone in. We don’t want to get hurt again, because we all know it isn’t fun.
Many tend to jump into relationships trying to find out who they are in someone else.
They might not even know what they want from the relationship, but it does seem convenient and less lonely at the time. They don’t think about the fact that there are worse things than being alone.
Relationships can be great, and they can be awful, but before you get into one, at least think about what you deserve.
I am not an expert on relationships, and I am not waiting for anyone to sweep me off of my feet. I live in the real world where the meaning of the word relationship and dating has changed.