By Benjamin Whitener
Staff reporter

He’s got the goods, and Abraham Lincoln. Jeremy Piven (Old School, Smokin’ Aces) is Don “The Goods” Ready and he is the best used-car liquidator in the business. Heading up the team of Jibby Newsome played by Ving Rhames (Mission Impossible, Echelon Conspiracy), Brent Gage played by David Koechner (Anchorman, Semi-Pro) and Babs Merrick played by Kathryn Hahn (Step Brothers, Revolutionary Road), Don Ready is tasked with liquidating the entire stock of used cars at Selleck Motors in The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard.

Chock full of seemingly hilarious one liners and sexual innuendos, and some straight forward sexual references, “The Goods” makes for an amusing movie, albeit it a trashy one.

Failing used car dealership Selleck Motors is forced to enlist the help of Ready and his team if they have any hope of pulling off their Fourth of July sale. The Selleck Motors sales team led by owner and operator Ben Selleck played by James Brolin (Mysterious, Last Chance Harvey) must learn everything they can from Ready in order to make their sale work. Crazy and hilarious hijinks ensue and a wild story unfolds.

On the surface “The Goods” is a movie about selling cars, but deep down, as deep as it can get for this sort of movie, “The Goods” is a romantic comedy of sorts. While helping sell some cars Don Ready meets the woman of his dreams in the form of Ben Selleck’s daughter Ivy played by Jordana Spiro (Must Love Dogs, My Boys). Ivy is engaged to Paxton Harding played by Ed Helms (Semi-Pro, The Hangover) who works for Selleck Motors cross-town rival Harding Motors.

The romantic humor is taken further by Babs when she meets Ivy’s brother Peter Selleck played by Rob Riggle (Step Brothers, The Hangover). Peter is a 10-year-old boy with a growth defect that makes him appear to be a full grown man. Even though Babs is old enough to be Peter’s mother she still tries to lure him into her sexual trap which is where the trashy part comes in.

Continuing the sexual theme of the movie Ben Selleck spends a great deal of time flirting with a certain member of Ready’s crew and Jibby finds himself falling for a stripper that was hired to help with the liquidation.
This movie belongs in the long list of movies produced by Will Ferrell (Anchorman, Step Brothers) who also plays the part of McDermott, Ready’s old partner who dresses as Abraham Lincoln and finds himself in a sticky situation. The involvement of Ferrell explains the lewd and sexual content of the movie and the cast who are Ferrell movie regulars.

In the end, The Goods is a dirty comedy and is one of those movies to be watched when there is absolutely nothing else to do.
The Goods is directed by Neal Brennan (Chapelle’s Show, Totally Awesome) and is rated R for sexual content, nudity, pervasive language and some drug material. It has a runtime of 89 minutes.

Benjamin Whitener is a junior majoring in digital arts. You may e-mail him at