POTATO! Bet that caught some attention. Now what does it mean to only have six, yes count them six weeks left of school? Well only one thing to Southwestern College students and faculty, there is only one more week left of National Women’s History month, or also known as March. Yes, it is shocking there are just not enough breaths in the day to stop one from hyperventilating at this thought.

However, there is a solution to this tragic revelation, because once the clock strikes midnight on April 1, there is no turning back Cinderella. Please don’t cry the entire 335 days waiting for next March, because hibernating would be a better choice. But before the bottles of Nyquil are emptied into the milk in the cafeteria, gather one’s self and listen. There is still time. Seven glorious days.

So, what should one enthusiast (or confused person wondering why they are still reading this editorial) do to honor our nation’s women? It is easy, celebrate. Every woman, man, child, domestic pet or house plant needs to celebrate our buns off. There is a lot of time to be made up, so let’s go.

First off, throw on something purple. A scarf, a hat, an eggplant or whatever is closest will do. If there is nothing purple around hold ones breath for 25 seconds. Purple is the official color for National Women’s History month so make a statement and strut that purple.

Next, stop and think about all of the extremely influential women in one’s life. A mother, sister, grandmother, doctor, professor, musician and even Mother Nature might make that list. It may be difficult to recall influential women in history from one’s memory, but that is because women’s history is typically not taught to students in Kindergarten through the 12th grade. This is one of the main reasons why Women’s History month began.

Here are some historical names for memorization: Mary Wollstonecraft, the Grimke sisters, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, Carrie Chapman Catt, Anna Howard Shaw, Betty Freidan, Geraldine Ferraro, Susan Faludi, Ann Richards, Hillary Rodham Clinton (perhaps familiar), Rebecca Walker, Courtney Love, Tamara Straus, Jennifer Baumgardner, Amy Richards…there is more, but start with that. Many of these women call themselves feminist, they are bold, powerful and incredibly intelligent, all of these women aided in improving the United States, even if they did not agree with each other, they were and are goal driven and barreled down on the tough situations. Look them up, it will be plain to see their impact. After twirling from one page to the next from all of the books, novels, speeches and stories written by or about these women, one may begin to see the inspiration they have cultivated.

On to the next form of celebration, some may stereotypically shout, “More shoe shopping,” but instead of shoe shopping there will be show swopping (metaphorically speaking.) Let us celebrate by slipping into that boot, tennis shoe, stiletto, steal toed shoe, galosh, cleat or sock that the women in our history have already tromped in. For instance the steal toed may look like this. Instantly one is spiraled back to the early 1900’s, as the women wearing this steal toe, one is working 15 plus hours in 95 degree weather (actually scratch that, with the lax regulations for women workers, one would probably be wearing the only pair of cloth shoes one could afford) the factory workers on one’s level are all women and the men stand above and gander. There are no laws about working conditions, breaks, maximum hours or hazardous machinery. This is not the worst of it, the male bosses are allowed to do as they please with any of the workers. Many factories would even lock women in the factory so they could not leave ev
en if they wanted to. Would one like to come back to 2010 now?

Alright, the wish is granted. Next uplifting way to celebrate is with food. So go ahead and eat that hamburger. Don’t worry society will just be pacing behind you mumbling retched thoughts about the size of one’s love handles or how one’s belly looks as if one has become pregnant. Don’t worry celebrating National Women’s History month means that although society practically bashes one’s skull in with the image of size two models prancing around, one will have to find their own happiness in their skin, or else go truly insane (opposed to false insanity.)

The last and final way to celebrate National Women’s History month, is by standing up for what one believes in. Picket, riot, ruffle some whiskers. The women of history are notorious for being rabble rousers who stood strong and steady no matter what or who tried to knock them down. Women fought for decades for the right to vote, they protested, raised money and were arrested for peaceful protesting, then force fed in prison. However, their decades of suffering ironically granted them suffrage. Women have always been the first to step up to the plate even when the world wants to strike them out. No matter if she drives in three runs from a grand slam or she strikes out, she will be just as fierce the next time she sees that curve ball.

So whether one believes in Health Care reform, keeping the “Don’t ask don’t tell” policy, increasing aid in schools or just believing in the success of one’s World of War craft character, one must fight for that noble belief. The women of our history fought, they won some they lost some, but for at least seven more days our Nation has declared we recognize women of our Nation. So grab that SC purple shirt, that picket sign and “A Vindication of the Rights of Women,” by Mary Wollstonecraft because there is a raucous to be had in the name of women.