By Lea Shores
You do not look like Brad Pitt. Okay, maybe if you squint your eyes really tight, turn your head 90 degrees to the right and use a lot of imagination there might be some resemblance. Oops, nope, not even then. Doppelganger week is one of the most confusing weeks on Facebook. Megan Fox just updated her status to say that she is headed up to eat in the Java Jinx. I didn’t even know she went to school here. Whoever told you that you resembled (insert celebrity here) was just being nice, you don’t. Except that girl whose Doppelganger was Barney, there was definitely a striking resemblance.
Username, password, click, and finally I’m logged in to catch up on the newest statuses and updates on my favorite social networking site. The statuses seem strange today. Most are in question and answer format. How do you play this new Facebook Fad? Post on you status, “Inbox me any question and I’ll post the answer on my status.” Yeah, right. It was amusing at first, asking people questions that everyone has always wanted to know, but never had the balls to ask. Now, it’s basically getting on my last nerve. No one can ever really know if you were inboxed those 15 questions that you happened to answer in the last 22 minutes. The fad seems like an opportunity to air your dirty laundry or to boost your ego before the newest Facebook fad is established. I’d like to see it be changed to, “Post your question on my wall and I’ll answer it.” Maybe then my newsfeed won’t be so annoying to read.
The “random facts” posts are also annoying. Chances are, the “random” facts you are sharing with friends are nothing more than the same nonsense you’ve been posting all along. I already know you still sleep with a stuffed animal and love the smell of permanent markers. This information is nothing new to me. Not only that, but your facts usually come in large groups ranging from 30 to 50. So here’s your next random fact, nobody reads them.
If there is one Facebook fad that was done right, it was the month when everyone was encouraged to put their favorite Pokémon as their profile picture. I have been, and still am today, a huge Pokémon fan. When I heard about this last year, I had to contain my excitement. I quickly look through the original 150 Pokémon to decide which one would be the best for the world to see me as. Of course, I decided on a picture of a blatantly confused Raichu, which ended up fitting my personality quite well. I felt as though everyone who knew what Pokémon are and had the same childhood obsession as I did had a fun time participating that month. There are always going to be fads that do not pertain to everyone, but that is something that can’t be changed with a social network as big as Facebook. Besides, those who don’t know what Pokémon is are flakes anyways.
What does poking on Facebook really mean? Many may believe a simple poke is an innocent attempt to grab the attention of fellow friends or even a secret crush. Some may translate a poke as, “Hey, you! Wutsup?”, while others may believe poking is just really annoying. I can’t seem to in get into poking people. I’ve seen numerous photos of people who have up to 30 or so friends they have poked or have been poked by. Okay, may 30 is an exaggeration, but trust me I’ve tried to keep up and have failed. Let’s admit poking back in forth is time consuming and, quite honestly, a bit pointless. There are better ways in my opinion to talk to someone, it’s called post a comment on their page. But I suppose poking is enjoyable to some, so who am I to judge. For those who enjoying poking, here are some facts on the power of poking: if you poke someone who is not your friend, they will be able to view your profile for three days, if you poke someone not in your network and they poke back, you can view their profile even if you’re not their friend.
The “It’s ‘insert random heartbreaking, gut wrenching issue here’ appreciation week” posts are also annoying. I’m sorry, there is no way every week of the year is “appreciation week” for every cause out there. If you want to support those causes, go ahead. But maybe next time you go to copy and paste that message, consider taking off the “appreciation week” at the end, especially if it is not the correct time of year.
Have you noticed your friend who has super-white teeth in every photo of themselves? The one with the oversaturated colors in their photos? The ones with 72-point pink font at the bottom that says “BFFs <3”?
Annoying Facebook fad: Picniking photos. Look, we know your photos are a lie. You end up looking more like a cartoon character than a real person, anyway. So, please, please. Before you label that next photo something like, “My girlies!” just think about the number of people who are going to love your photo (Answer: You and your three friends in it) compared to the number of people who are going to throw up a little bit when they see it (Answer: Everyone else).
One incredibly annoying Facebook fads is quizzes. When my newsfeed is filled up with quizzes about what age my friends will die, or quizzes about when one will find their true love, or get married, I have a tendency to become so curious that I will participate in this ridiculous form of time consumption. Taking a quiz definitely can make time go by, but five multiple-choice questions do not really give you a legitimate answer. Nobody else wants to know at what age you will die, when you’ll get married, how pretty you are, how dirty minded you are, or what kind of song you are, but I still can’t help but just check it out. It is said there are no stupid questions, but after seeing all these quiz questions I would have to disagree.