By Lea Shores
Staff reporter

I don’t know much about sports. The lingo, the rules, the different plays—it’s lost on me.

What I do know is there seem to be only a few sports a majority of people follow through the year, football, basketball, baseball, etc. It seems like there are many activities that college students seem to “professionalize” in that could add some variety to the sports world.

Facebook Stalking, like volleyball, would be primarily dominated by women. Not sure if that cute guy from Saturday night is single? No problem. Find a few mutual friends, click through some pictures, and- bingo!- you have your answer. You are definitely prettier than that brunette he keeps popping up with, but she’s his girlfriend.

While initially, we may question the hygiene of that person who, every three weeks, lugs two hampers full of dirty clothes to the laundry room. Really, that person is the MVP of the sport known as Laundry. Somehow, three weeks worth of dirty clothes manages to occupy only four washers and dryers. It’s not sorted. There’s no fabric softener, bleach or dryer sheets involved, yet somehow it turns out perfect every time.

Do you live by the motto, “Go big or go home”? Then Epic-ness is the sport for you. It doesn’t matter if Friday night was Epic or if the history exam was an Epic Fail, this is an extreme sport.

Southwestern students would be especially good at several sports.

Most people don’t know what a Moundbuilder even is, which is why we could dominate the sport of Mound Building. Even after other schools catch on, it would be hard to compete with a college that has a tradition of a Mound Building Ceremony.

There’s a certain audience who likes to race cars. I’m sure, somewhere; there is also an audience who would like to race cars through a crowded parking lot to find the one spot left. The south Christy parking lot is like this every morning, there have to be enough students to make a team.

Finally, the sport where SC would really shine, getting around the administrator password on all the laptops. It doesn’t matter where you find the password or who tells you, the first to log in, download Limewire and get the entire new Lil Wayne CD, wins.

Lea Shores is a senior majoring in English. You may e-mail her at lea.shores@sckans.edu.